iverdale exists in a fantasy world in which the craziest things imaginable can happen and Riverdale High is no different. These things make no sense.
As far as schools go, Riverdale’s own Riverdale High is a special one. For a show filled with underage teenagers, the school seems to be just somewhere for Betty, Veronica, Archie, Jughead, and the others to hang out in and cuddle with their significant others, while they engage with killers, gangsters, and cults outside of it.
Lots of strange activities take place at Riverdale High, but studying seems to be the last thing that’s going on. Plenty of things don’t seem to add up about the fictional school, and here are some of the biggest anomalies.
The Shady Teachers And Staff
There has been a host of shady educators at the institution, with no background checks. Starting with Ms. Grundy, who has illicit affairs with her underage male students regularly, and on to Principal Weatherbee, who ends up being a part of The Farm cult.
It doesn’t stop there. Mr. Honey, the new principal, tries to copycat the town voyeur by filming the school (even though it seems like he does it for the students’ wellbeing), and visits the town’s seedy snuff film store regularly. Even Joseph Svenson, the janitor, has a sordid history in which he was the only survivor of a mass murder and later got manipulated by The Black Hood.
The Blue & Gold
The high school newspaper called “The Blue & Gold” is treated like a serious, real-world publication. With only Jughead and Betty running the newspaper, it’s used to make controversial statements, run exposés, and break (usually murderous) news.
Riverdale may be set in a fictional town, but it really doesn’t make sense that a high school magazine is considered a legitimate publication that Hiram and other adults are afraid of appearing in. A normal school paper usually features love-struck poetry and essays.
Teens Keep Getting Arrested At School
The police visit Riverdale High regularly. Whenever they need to question students, it’s always when they’re in class, and instead of questioning them after school hours, they just walk into school and question the underage minors there.
In season 4, the police actually barged in during one of the rare times the teenagers were in class and arrested them in front of all their peers.
Funeral Cheerleading Costumes
The Vixens are a baffling student club, led by an even more baffling Cheryl Blossom, who has no regard for school rules and does whatever she wants with the school cheerleaders (including blackmailing the principal).
Usually seen sporting white, blue, and gold uniforms, The Vixens were weirdly seen wearing black and white uniforms for Midge’s funeral … almost as if they kept backup mourning uniforms for when a student dies in school. This just doesn’t make any sense.
Every Student Has A Side Hustle
The teens of Riverdale High all have thriving side businesses. Veronica runs Pop’s Chock’lit Shop and La Bonne Nuit (which is a bar), Betty works part-time with the FBI, Archie operates his own gym and community building program, and Jughead moonlights as the gang leader of The Southside Serpents.
It would all be very impressive if it weren’t for the fact that they’re all underage and not qualified to do half these things, nevermind that most students wouldn’t have time to do any of these extra activities.
Jughead Keeps Switching Schools
Moody Jughead is always torn between schools through the series. He switches between Riverdale High and Southside High against his will in the first season when that switch is legally not even allowed.
In season 4, he transfers to the prestigious Stonewall Prep for a better shot at a writing career, concocts a plan which includes faking his own death, and then transfers back to Riverdale High mid-year, in his senior year. No school would actually allow this.
Classes And College Applications
Fans continuously point out (and so does the cast) that the teens are barely ever in class. Season 1 still showed classroom scenes, but these have progressively dropped to almost zero class time for the murder-loving teenagers.
Yet, in season 4, Veronica, Betty, and Archie are stressing about filling out college applications. And not just any colleges, but Ivy League ones. This begs the questions: how exactly are they applying to college, and how do they have top grades?
There Is No Security
Riverdale High is a notorious playground for serial killers and escaped convicts because it seems to have exactly zero security for its precious students. The teens are frequently visited by The Black Hood, The Gargoyle King, and escaped convicts regularly and kids even get murdered on the school premises.
Archie is attacked and beat up in Riverdale High’s bathroom by Ted Bishop, who escapes from prison after being charged with attempted murder, and nobody bats an eyelid or attempts to help (except when Kevin walks in to use the loo).
Students Keep Having Sex In The Music Room
Schools usually have teachers on rounds, and students are definitely not allowed to frolic around in classrooms or anywhere on the premises.
At Riverdale High, however, all the couples (Jughead and Betty, Archie and Veronica) regularly have sex at school, and strangely, especially in the music room.
The Student Lounge
Where most schools give teachers a lounge in which to spend their downtime, at Riverdale High, the students have a lounge. And no, this is not a cafeteria, but a proper lounge with couches and a vending machine, only for students.
While this is not normal, it’s also worth noting that there are barely any real teachers (apart from admin, coaches, and criminals), which is probably why the students have their own lounge at Riverdale High, while Southside High falls to ruins with no funding.