South Park’s Eric Cartman isn’t known for his high-brow nature, and here are 10 of the pettiest things the vulgar fourth-grader ever did.
On August 13, 1997, the world was introduced to Eric Cartman, and the world hasn’t gotten enough of the manipulative, foul-mouth, evil kid from South Park, Colorado.
The character of Cartman has done some pretty mean things over the years to his crew, but, over the last 23 seasons South Park has been on the air, he has done some truly petty things that will make one both cringe and laugh out loud. From killing his own best friends to forcing his enemies to eat bowls of chili made from their own parents, here are 10 of his pettiest actions.
Cartman’s Vendetta Against Red Hair And Freckles
In the 2005 episode “Ginger Kids,” Cartman decided that he had had enough with kids with red hair and freckles. So, he decided to launch a petty war against them, which ended up backfiring, as a prank that went horribly wrong wound up making him look like the kids he was fighting against. It was a pointless war, to begin with, but that’s Cartman for you.
Cartman Sold Kyle A Kidney
Season four focused somewhat on the many times Cartman tried to become rich and failed miserably at it. One petty and cruel thing he did on his quest to millions was to sell Kyle, one of his best friends, a kidney. Keep in mind that in this episode, “Cherokee Hair Tampons,” Kyle needed a kidney transplant and could have died without one. Cartman could have done his friend a solid, but, instead, his petty nature gets the best of him, again.
Cartman Tries To Kill Kenny
Kenny is the lovable kid that always had the bad luck of dying at the wrong times. However, in the 2005 episode “Best Friends Forever,” Cartman actually tried to kill Kenny himself. Why? Because Kenny brought the last PSP that was in stock, and Cartman wanted it so bad that he was willing to murder his best friend for it. This was pettiness at level 100.
Cartman Tortures Butters
In 2007’s “Cartman Sucks” episode, we see Cartman try to pull one of his dirty, petty pranks on Butters, which winds up backfiring. It’s a little too graphic to explain, but the remainder of the episode is spent watching Cartman go to incredible and extremely petty lengths to prove that the prank that he pulled on butter was “not gay.” Cruel to be sure, but this is Cartman, the pint-sized master of cruelty.
Cartman Goes To War Against The Jews
South Park never ceased to make people angry, and the 2004 episode “The Passion Of The Jew” made people particularly angry at Cartman. After watching The Passion Of The Christ, Cartman decides to launch a really petty, really awful war against the Jews.
He was even dressed as Hitler while leading fans of the movie through South Park against the Jews. This episode was really controversial at the time, and it was one of Cartman’s prettiest moves when looking at today’s lens.
Cartman Re-Ignites The Civil War
Leave it up to Cartman to turn a harmless civil war reenactment into an actual, real civil war. People were injured and died in the “Battle At South Park” in the 1999 episode “The Red Badge of Gayness,” and all of this came about because Cartman didn’t want to lose a bet. So, he rallied the Confederate actors, who were drunk, to start an actual civil war.
Cartman Holds Casa Bonita Hostage
Cartman has a vivid imagination that comes to life in frightening ways. One of the ways it manifested was in the 2003 episode “Casa Bonita,” where he held the birthday boy—and pretty much all of Casa Bonita, a Mexican restaurant—hostage because he thought the world had been nailed by a meteor. His behavior causes panic throughout the entire town and even spend a week in juvie for this petty stunt.
Cartman Dressed As A Slave Owner
One of the more petty and despicable things Cartman ever did was in the 2011 episode “Crack Baby Athletic Association,” in which he volunteered at a hospital with babies addicted to crack and thought of them as slaves. If that wasn’t bad enough, he even looked the part, dressing as a slave owner. The petty placed Cartman will go just to get attention.
Cartman Attacks Everything
In 2004, Cartman went on his first petty war. Six years later, he re-ignited this senseless war in “Coon vs. Coon and Friends,” in which he teamed up with an HP Lovecraft demon Cthulu to attack nearly everything, from synagogues to a Justin Bieber concert. It was one of the prettiest, pointless, and cruelest things that Cartman ever did, and it nearly was the confirmation everyone needed that he was, indeed, a petty, evil child.
Cartman’s Plot Against Scott Tenorman
Everyone has a school bully that they would love to get revenge against, and Cartman was no different. Except, this is Eric Cartman, and his plan to get back at the school bully, Scott Tenorman, in the 2001 episode “Scott Tenorman Must Die” was on every part of evil as one can think off. When this episode first aired, it was the first time many fans truly got to see just have dark Cartman would go to exact revenge, something that grew to even darker moments as the show moved along.